If you are parenting an anxious child, you may often hear:
Building confidence in anxious kids is essential for their growth.
Effective strategies for building confidence in anxious kids can significantly help.
Building confidence in anxious kids requires patience and understanding.
Strategies for Building Confidence in Anxious Kids
Building confidence in anxious kids can be a challenging yet rewarding journey for parents.
“What if I get it wrong?”
Every step you take in building confidence in anxious kids matters.
It’s important to remember that building confidence in anxious kids is a journey.
“Can you come with me?”
“I don’t want to go.”
By focusing on building confidence in anxious kids, we foster resilience.
As parents, our instinct is often to protect our children from discomfort. Watching a child struggle with anxiety can be difficult. Yet confidence is not built by avoiding anxiety. Confidence develops when children discover that they can cope with challenges, uncertainty, and uncomfortable feelings.
Our goal should always be building confidence in anxious kids.
Validating feelings is a step towards building confidence in anxious kids.
When Helping, Accidentally Makes Anxiety Bigger
Imagine your child is nervous about answering a question in class. It can be tempting to remove the challenge altogether. While this may provide short-term relief, it may also reduce opportunities for your child to learn that they can cope. Research suggests that avoidance and excessive reassurance can unintentionally maintain anxiety over time (Lebowitz et al., 2020; Silverman & Pina, 2023).
The Goal Is Not No Anxiety—It Is Greater Confidence
Encouraging children helps in building confidence in anxious kids.
Many parents hope their child will stop feeling anxious. However, confidence often develops after taking action, not before it. Bandura (1997) described this as self-efficacy, the belief in one’s ability to manage challenges effectively.
How Parents Can Help
Praising effort contributes to building confidence in anxious kids.
1. Validate Feelings First
Try saying: ‘I can see this feels difficult right now.’ Validation helps children feel understood while creating space for growth and problem-solving (Coyne et al., 2024).
Seeking help can also support building confidence in anxious kids.
2. Teach Practical Coping Skills
Helpful coping strategies may include slow breathing, calming sensory activities, movement, music, and positive self-talk. These skills can help children regulate their emotions during stressful situations (Kendall et al., 2018).
3. Encourage Small Brave Steps
Confidence grows through manageable challenges. Rather than expecting children to face their biggest fears immediately, it encourages small, achievable steps. Every success provides evidence that they can cope.
4. Praise Effort and Courage
Focus on effort, persistence, and problem-solving rather than outcomes alone. This can support resilience, confidence, and a growth mindset (Dweck, 2017).
A Powerful Message for Anxious Children
Children do not need to believe, ‘I will never feel anxious.’ Instead, they benefit from learning: ‘I can feel anxious and still do hard things.’
When Professional Support May Be Helpful
If anxiety is significantly affecting your child’s daily functioning, school attendance, relationships, participation in activities, or emotional wellbeing, consultation with an appropriately qualified and registered healthcare professional may be beneficial.
Final Thoughts
As parents, we do not need to remove every obstacle from our children’s path. Sometimes the most helpful thing we can do is stand beside them while they discover their own strength. Confidence often begins with one small brave step at a time.
References
Bandura, A. (1997). Self-efficacy: The exercise of control. W. H. Freeman.
Dweck, C. S. (2017). Mindset: Changing the way you think to fulfil your potential (Updated ed.). Robinson.
Kendall, P. C., Peterman, J. S., Cummings, C. M., Duffy, D., & Sood, E. (2018). Cognitive-behavioral therapy for youth anxiety disorders: Evidence base and future directions. Journal of Clinical Child & Adolescent Psychology, 47(1), 1–18. https://doi.org/10.1080/15374416.2017.1379785
Lebowitz, E. R., Marin, C. E., Martino, A., Shimshoni, Y., & Silverman, W. K. (2020). Parent-based treatment as efficacious as cognitive behavioral therapy for childhood anxiety: A randomized noninferiority study. Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 59(3), 362–372. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jaac.2019.02.014
Silverman, W. K., & Pina, A. A. (2023). Evidence-based assessment and treatment of anxiety disorders in children and adolescents. Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Clinics of North America, 32(2), 203–220.
Coyne, L. W., Gould, E. R., Grimaldi, M., Wilson, K. G., Baffuto, G., & Biglan, A. (2024). Supporting psychological flexibility and resilience in children and families: Current perspectives. Journal of Contextual Behavioral Science, 31, 1–11.
Disclaimer: This article is intended for psycho-educational purposes only and does not replace individual psychological assessment, diagnosis, or therapy. If you have concerns about your child’s emotional wellbeing, please consult an appropriately registered healthcare professional.
