Wildfires. Armed conflict. Climate change. Earthquakes. These are only a few examples of the distressing events that regularly appear in the news.
In today’s world, upsetting news is easily accessible through television, social media, and conversations by others around us. Although parents often try to protect their children by discussing difficult events in an age-appropriate and supportive way, it is impossible to shield them from every distressing story.
Children’s emotional understanding and thinking skills are still developing. As a result, they may struggle to make sense of frightening events and may become worried, fearful, or anxious. Research suggests that children can develop fears not only through direct experiences, but also through observing others or hearing threatening information about a situation. This highlights the importance of how we talk with children about difficult events.
How can I help my child?
When children become overwhelmed, they often need more than information—they need the support of a calm and caring adult. This process is known as co-regulation.
Co-regulation refers to the way a regulated adult helps a child gradually regain a sense of emotional safety. Your calm voice, facial expressions, body language, and steady presence communicate that they are not facing their worries alone. As your child becomes calmer, they are better able to think clearly, ask questions, and process what has happened.
Remember, co-regulation does not mean you never feel worried yourself. Rather, it means taking a moment to manage your own emotions before responding to your child as calmly and thoughtfully as possible.
Here are some practical strategies:
- Pause and take a few slow, steady breaths before responding.
- Notice what you are feeling. If you are feeling anxious or overwhelmed, acknowledge it to yourself first.
- Name and validate your child’s emotions. Try to look beyond their behaviour and identify the feeling underneath it. For example: “I can see that this news has made you feel frightened.”
- Refrain from dismissing feelings with statements such as “Don’t worry” or “It is not that bad”.
- Listen more than you speak. Children often need to feel heard before they need answers. You might say: “That’s a really important question. We may not know all the answers right now, but we can think about it together.”
- If you need time to settle yourself, be honest in a reassuring way. For example: “I can see this feels scary. I also feel concerned, and I’d like us both to take a few deep breaths before we talk about it some more.”
- Provide factual, age-appropriate information, and avoid exposing your child to repeated news coverage or graphic images.
- Refrain from providing excessive or repetitive reassurance, as this can unintentionally maintain anxiety in some children.
- Help your child return to familiar routines, play, exercise, and time with supportive family members, as these activities help restore a sense of safety and predictability.
In the long run
Most children bounce back over time and with supportive co-regulation and attention by their trusted adults. However, if your child’s distress persists, becomes more intense over time, or begins to interfere with their sleep, school attendance, relationships, or daily functioning, consider consulting a registered healthcare professional for further guidance and support.
References
American Academy of Pediatrics. (2025, August 28). How to talk with kids about tragedies & other traumatic news events. HealthyChildren.org. HealthyChildren.org article
Calkins, S. D., & Hill, A. (2007). Caregiver influences on emerging emotion regulation: Biological and environmental transactions. In J. J. Gross (Ed.), Handbook of Emotion Regulation (1st ed., pp. 229–248). Guilford Press.
Field, A. P., & Lawson, J. (2003). Fear information and the development of fears during childhood.
Rachman, S. (1977). The conditioning theory of fear-acquisition: A critical examination.
Disclaimer: This blog is provided for psychoeducational purposes only. It is not intended to diagnose or treat psychological or mental health conditions and should not replace an individual assessment or professional advice from a registered healthcare practitioner.
